I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
