btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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