So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize