There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
