i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
