can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
