he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My penis needs a shock collar
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Is Oprah even human
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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