too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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