you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
