Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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