Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
