Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
