(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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