He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
