hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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