I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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