dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
