Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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