Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
