Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
