Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
