That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize