and you said cock pushups were impossible
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
