operation harelip BJ is a go
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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