We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Enjoy the penises
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
