I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
