Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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