there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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