i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
