i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
