protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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