...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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