i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
