but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
