you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
