I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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