i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We have started to decorate penises.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
