I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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