These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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