You really coming over, don't trick.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
