Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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