She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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