This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
