The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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