why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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