Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Is it normal to miss your booty call?

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  (650): Is it normal to miss your booty call? http://tfl.nu/3d60
  Replies (9) Good night (917) Bad night (1286)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.

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  (720): I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare. http://tfl.nu/5d0o
  Replies (3) Good night (1194) Bad night (744)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.

  (1-321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  no his phone, idiot.

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  (321): Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot. (1-321): he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn. (321): no his phone, idiot. http://tfl.nu/beyf
  Replies (43) Good night (9710) Bad night (1101)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...

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  (262): My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here... http://tfl.nu/iwch
  Replies (54) Good night (4509) Bad night (1837)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril

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  (603): judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril http://tfl.nu/m6dd
  Replies (21) Good night (5233) Bad night (1141)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.

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  (516): i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records. http://tfl.nu/e6fm
  Replies (7) Good night (3691) Bad night (1804)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.

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  (513): You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute. http://tfl.nu/xfpy
  Replies (6) Good night (3211) Bad night (1468)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....

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  (865): got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter.... http://tfl.nu/ne6c
  Replies (9) Good night (3415) Bad night (1041)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.

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  (860): the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real. http://tfl.nu/2bbh
  Replies (5) Good night (4851) Bad night (949)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious

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  (870): Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious http://tfl.nu/hhr4
  Replies (9) Good night (2171) Bad night (550)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck

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  (412): I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck http://tfl.nu/1t6b
  Replies (16) Good night (870) Bad night (1321)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING

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  (205): That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor. (1-205): WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING http://tfl.nu/uvee
  Replies (3) Good night (540) Bad night (277)
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  (949): View more from California

  Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.

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  (949): Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young. http://tfl.nu/8x4p
  Replies (0) Good night (529) Bad night (333)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.

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  (334): I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local. http://tfl.nu/qrkd
  Replies (2) Good night (449) Bad night (290)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman

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  (630): I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman http://tfl.nu/cwps
  Replies (3) Good night (510) Bad night (462)

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