Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Dick very happy bro