Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.

  (646): View more from New York

  I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am. (646): I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ. http://tfl.nu/g49z
  Replies (13) Good night (682) Bad night (1248)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am. http://tfl.nu/33o2
  Replies (61) Good night (31369) Bad night (1647)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport" http://tfl.nu/at20
  Replies (10) Good night (3314) Bad night (768)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away.. http://tfl.nu/t5um
  Replies (22) Good night (3134) Bad night (1272)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?

  (1-812): View more from Indiana

  You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): Have you seen my high heels that I wore out? (1-812): You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave? http://tfl.nu/rqvo
  Replies (15) Good night (7529) Bad night (1106)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man. http://tfl.nu/3qrw
  Replies (8) Good night (5209) Bad night (2051)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race http://tfl.nu/3da3
  Replies (8) Good night (4298) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk. http://tfl.nu/4ore
  Replies (11) Good night (1928) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke http://tfl.nu/9cxf
  Replies (1) Good night (1560) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm http://tfl.nu/zhmu
  Replies (10) Good night (1043) Bad night (1821)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice http://tfl.nu/a73k
  Replies (7) Good night (1138) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise (802): Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence. http://tfl.nu/7axp
  Replies (3) Good night (698) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more. http://tfl.nu/e0jy
  Replies (3) Good night (600) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown http://tfl.nu/9oqz
  Replies (0) Good night (543) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  Bring me that man meat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): Bring me that man meat http://tfl.nu/j03f
  Replies (1) Good night (368) Bad night (141)

Randomize