having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
