The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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