My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry