Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund

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  (415): Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund http://tfl.nu/nij6
  Replies (12) Good night (729) Bad night (2060)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record

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  (978): I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record http://tfl.nu/cq61
  Replies (17) Good night (2101) Bad night (485)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self

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  (336): i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self http://tfl.nu/v0ky
  Replies (24) Good night (4390) Bad night (1064)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.

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  (305): I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming. http://tfl.nu/oxhe
  Replies (140) Good night (1799) Bad night (38165)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.

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  (410): i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow. http://tfl.nu/v829
  Replies (32) Good night (4678) Bad night (1881)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.

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  (615): Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron. http://tfl.nu/4qyy
  Replies (14) Good night (4351) Bad night (941)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Why am I even shocked you're doing this....

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  (774): Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n (617): Why am I even shocked you're doing this.... http://tfl.nu/y7yp
  Replies (11) Good night (6175) Bad night (1058)
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  (650): View more from California

  I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.

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  (650): I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it. http://tfl.nu/8v3x
  Replies (5) Good night (4097) Bad night (1015)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks

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  (603): I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks http://tfl.nu/p1yw
  Replies (12) Good night (3470) Bad night (1969)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  $5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.

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  (512): $5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am. http://tfl.nu/bt4r
  Replies (10) Good night (1765) Bad night (2719)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot

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  (781): I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot http://tfl.nu/lamm
  Replies (2) Good night (696) Bad night (1653)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.

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  (239): I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life. http://tfl.nu/rpst
  Replies (1) Good night (1199) Bad night (609)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.

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  (718): Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover. http://tfl.nu/imva
  Replies (5) Good night (1743) Bad night (551)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.

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  (702): Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism. http://tfl.nu/d72k
  Replies (1) Good night (1604) Bad night (437)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?

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  (208): Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going? http://tfl.nu/zcy2
  Replies (0) Good night (360) Bad night (681)

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