Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
