Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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