Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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