proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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