Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
