so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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