I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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