I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
