My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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