i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
