I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Your cock deserves a montage
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
