HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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