He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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