I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
