dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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