Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
