Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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