Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
