is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
