Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
