"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
