She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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