Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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